A Halloween Story: Salesman in Hell

Mr. Frank Bones, Account Manager for the Crimson Insurance Company, felt a cold chill tickle the hairs on the back of his neck.  He sat in the dark, dank, cellar of the company (where the business had recently moved him), hunched over his chair while drops of sweat ran down his nose and puddled on the blotter of his calendar.  He was in a difficult situation.  There was only ten weeks left in the selling year.  Forty-two weeks had fled past him like the headless horseman's coach on the moors of a small country town.  While he reminisced on the meetings, phone calls, paperwork and deals he had toiled over during the past year, it now came down to this:  he needed a miracle to hit his quota.  Quota...quota...quota.  The words repeated themselves over and over like a hungry zombie moaning for his brains.

Frank stood up and paced around the desk.  "I've got to get my head on straight," he said aloud as the buzz of the air conditioner grew louder in the company basement.   Ten weeks to book a half a million dollars to hit quota.  Ten weeks before the weight of the company executives would be squarely on his shoulders.  He imagined the horrified look on his manager's face as he would be called into the cramped conference room.  "Frank, we've got a problem," the manager would say.  "This isn't personal, and you know how much we like you here at Crimson."  Frank knew what the manager would say next.  "You've put yourself in an awkward situation.  We've talked dozens of times about your sales performance," the beady-eyed monster-manager would say.  As if he were in a prescient dream, Frank closed his eyes and immersed himself further in the future meeting.  "We're going to need to put you on a Performance Improvement Plan," cried the manager.  Frank had heard about the dreaded Performance Improvement Plan.  Everyone around the office called it the PIP.  The dreaded PIP.  The kiss of death PIP.  The poisonous, foul-smelling stench of the PIP.  He imagined himself drowning in a graveyard of decaying flesh.

Startled, Frank quickly opened his eyes and saw the vibrating cell phone flashing on his desk.  Who could be calling him at this hour?  He rubbed his eyes to clear the foggy vision of the phone screen.  In clear bold letters, the caller ID spelled:  P I C K  U P.  Frank didn't think this was funny; not in his current state of mind.  "Who has a caller ID of P I C K  U P," he thought.  Frank quickly silenced the ringer.  "What kind of freak has that caller ID," he said aloud, now in a state of panic.  He'd figure it out tomorrow, when he could get his head clear.

The phone rang again.  Slowly, Frank peered down to see what kind of game somebody was playing on him.  The called ID was the same.  Apparently, this was not going to stop.  "This is Frank," he mumbled as he pressed the "accept" button on the phone and brought the handset up to his ear. "Frank, don't talk.  Just listen," said the eerily familiar voice on the other side of the call.  "Listen carefully now buddy.  I know this is going to be difficult to believe, but I'm you...sort of.  Better put, I'm the future you.  I'm Frank Bones in 2016."

"Who is this?" cried Frank.  "I'm going to kick your ass Doug.  How did you do that caller ID trick?"

"Frank, you know I'm telling you the truth.  Remember when we were 17 and we blew up that mailbox of old lady Sellers that summer?  Remember the time you stole that radar detector from Radio Shack when we were 22?  Nobody knows about that, right?" said the future Frank.

Frank's mind raced recalling those past events.  He never told anyone about that radar detector.  Maybe this was a dream.  Maybe it was the six tacos he'd eaten for lunch.  Maybe this really was the future Frank.  He barked at the phone, "OK, if you're some future version of me, you should know exactly what I'm doing at the office so late tonight."

There was silence on the phone for a slow five seconds.  "You're at the office tonight because you're worried about not hitting your sales quota for the year and you're trying to figure out what to do," said future Frank.

Frank was astonished, and in moments, he felt the grip of acceptance wash over his mind like a warm blanket.  "Holly Crap," Frank replied.  "You've got my attention.  I can barely believe it.  Why...I mean...what do you want?"

"I'm here to help you Frank.  I mean, I'm here to help us," said future Frank.  "I only have a few minutes, though.  Something about this whole thing tells me our phone call will end soon and I won't be able to call you back this time.  Listen carefully."

Frank raced back to the desk and got out his pen and paper.  How many times does your future self call you with advice?  He thought he'd likely need to write this down.  "OK, I'm ready," said Frank.

"Good.  Frank, I want you to know that everything's going to be OK.  I was there, just like you are now.  I was sitting in that same basement, thinking about quota, wondering what to do.  I was you three years ago.  A few months from now, you're going to hit your quota.  I've told myself over and over that if I could ever help anyone get through the situation you're in, I would.  So I'm going to give you way out of your predicament.  Write this down Frank.  For some reason, I'm thinking the phone is going to disconnect right after this.  Good luck Frank.  Heed my words."

There was a moment of silence on the line.  Frank was excited.  He felt as he was going to get the secret to eternal life.  This was the moment he had been searching for.  Why wasn't future Frank saying anything. "Frank, are you still there?  Frank?  Frank?"

Future Frank spoke.  Frank wrote down the advice.  The call disconnected quickly.  Here's Frank's advice to himself.  It's also advice to you or anyone who finds themselves in this Halloween Horror Story.  As Frank told himself, "Heed my words."

FRANK'S ADVICE TO HIMSELF (as written by Frank Bones)

1. Life Has a Way of Figuring Itself Out.  Not hitting your sales number in a single period (month, quarter, year) doesn't really mean that much in the big scheme of things.  There's always another chance.  There's always another way.  There's always another job (if it comes to that).  Life is too important to waste it on worrying about quota.  I'm not saying something religious or spooky.  You need to take action to change the events in your own life, but keep a perspective on things.
2. Most Reasonable People Are Patient if You Do the Right Things in Sales.  For some reason, salespeople think that they are only measured on sales performance.  99% of the time, this is NOT the case.  Sales performance is just ONE measurement of a quality contributor to your company and to other people.  An important Sales Axiom is:  You cannot control sales.  You can only control the activities that go into creating opportunity.  For most companies, if you're running hard, filling the pipeline, communicating well and getting in front of customers, management is patient.  Rarely, is any salesperson fired ONLY because of failure to hit quota.
3. Success in Anything Takes Time & Effort.  One of the oldest proverbs in any society, this one is obvious, but goes against our instant-gratification culture.  If you want success, you must plan for success.  You must practice your craft.  You must be a student.  If you find yourself 90 days away from the end of the year, plan out the way to achieve your goals.  Even if you don't hit your quota, you'll demonstrate competence, and set yourself up for future success.
4. Ask Others To Help.  The more challenging a situation, the more likely it is you will benefit from the advice of others.  Professionals ask for help, seek out solutions from others, and learn from other approaches.  Other people have always been in your exact same situation before.  Ask them how they succeeded or failed.
5. Your Attitude Is the Only Thing Completely in your Control.  We all have bad days, but a short moment of reflection at the beginning of the day sets the tone for the day's events.  Create an attitude of excellence, caring and value each day.  This is mental shift.  How's your attitude today?
6. Practice a Sales Methodology.  How many scientific studies will it take for you to believe that having a proscribed method for sales excellence makes people succeed?  
7. With Growth, Comes Pain.  Shifting from one perspective to another, one life-event to another and changing as a person, takes work.  Many times, changes are difficult.  Work through the challenges and realize that on the other side of the problem comes a different way of thinking.  A better way.

Happy Halloween 2012!

Just Lower Your Price - I'll Buy Today!

Dreaded words:  "You need to sharpen your pencil and come up with a lower price."

Worst Possible Response:  "What will it take to make this happen today?"

I've been to a lot of sales training over the past 20 years.  Most of these seminars involve some small component of Negotiation.  I also attended the "Master of Negotiation Seminar" put forth by the Corporate Performance Institute.  I've been on hundreds of sales calls in which some form of negotiation took place.  Also, I've discussed the "craft" of negotiation with dozens of my peers. Negotiation is the process of getting two or more parties to get past an obstacle and move forward. Let's try to distill a blend of sound logic here when it comes to Negotiations:

1. FIRST THINGS FIRST:  Negotiation = Handling Objection(s).  The single biggest mistake made by salespeople in negotiations is treating a price negotiation in some special way.  Let's face it - a price negotiation is one of MANY objections you may face during the sales cycle, especially when the deal is about to close.  If you had a product/feature objection, or a value objection, you'd take different steps in getting past the obstacle.  Don't forget this with a price objection.  Do the basics:  1)  Clarify and get a good understanding of it - don't agree.  2)  Ask the customer, "Besides lowering the price, can you think of any way we can get past this obstacle?"  3) Ask them if there are other obstacles besides this one.  Handle all the obstacles at the same time.
2. PEOPLE NEGOTIATE FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  The sooner you realize this, the better you'll be at figuring out how to not give away profit.  Among the reasons:  to make money; to get what you want; to avoid fear and consequences; to get control; to be successful; to pay as little as possible.  It's sort of like any decision you make in your life.  It's about risk, cost, legal consequences, quality, desires and fears.
3. NEGOTIATIONS ARE RISKY.  Let's be honest - in order to enter an negotiation, somebody has to say "No."  This creates conflict and you must stay in this conflict zone for at least 15 minutes (sometimes days, weeks or months).  This is uncomfortable and carries risk.  No risk, no reward.  There's good advice out there to help you prepare for this risky process:  Understand the worst and best-case scenarios.  Remember that this is not personal, believe in your own position and that time "heals all wounds."  Assume the other party knows what you know.  Be prepared for the discussions, practice and/or role-play with others.  Obtain advice from somebody else OUTSIDE the negotiations.
4. METHOD FOR A COMPLEX NEGOTIATION:  
1. Get to know each other; build rapport; understand all parties perspectives.
2. Understand your goals and objectives but do NOT share this with the other party yet.  Write them down.
3. Make a chart of all of the negotiation topics.  In a complex negotiation there will be a list of items that vary in importance both to you and the other party.  Categorize these into two sections:  Important and Not-So-Important (NSI).
4. Now you're ready to start negotiating.  Enter the negotiations by expressing your disagreement and that this is a significant problem.  This entry starts the risk-zone, but must be done.
5. Reassess and Compromise by allowing the other party to "win" items that are NSI to you.
6. Get agreement in principle, then put it in writing.
5. USE STRATEGY AND TACTICS:  Strategy is what the two parties want and how important each item is in the negotiation.  Tactics are methods to get what you want.  Key traits in a complex negotiation include:  persistence, competitive issues, attitude and involvement.

Some of my favorite tactics are below.  Use caution and practice these before you use them in a real negotiation.  There are hundreds of negotiation tactics and understand who you're dealing with.  There are professional negotiators out there that know every tactic ever devised.  Think twice before dealing with these folks (or bring in your own):

• Contracts are Negotiating Tactics.  Who care if there are standard agreements.  Somebody had to have written these documents.  Change them.  Ask them to be changed.  Contracts are written to favor the party who wrote them.  
• Time Deadlines are 90% Artificial.  Almost all time-frames can be extended.  Do not get caught in the other party setting artificial time-frames.
• Feinting and Leaks.  I don't like these tactics - they either border on being unethical or clearly are.  Your job is to be aware that some people do unethical things in a negotiation.  Sometimes people test an idea (feinting) that isn't necessarily true, or have 3rd parties leak information that would favor them. Don't get caught - validate the information.
• It's OK to withdraw.  Cooler heads will prevail.  Sometimes buyers and sellers need this time to process and reach a compromise.
• Who are you negotiating with?  Never negotiate with somebody who doesn't have the authority to do so.  Never negotiate with someone who has less authority than you do.  
• Give/Get.  This is absolutely part of every negotiation.  When you compromise, make sure you've gotten something in return.

So, besides lowering your price, what is your plan for your next big negotiation?

Why Some Sales Managers Simply Don't Care!

We all know them.  They're in every industry.  They're men and women.  They're people we see and engage with everyday.  These are the stereo-typical Sales Managers who have a similar set of unflattering characteristics:

• They do the minimum amount of work required to stay below the radar.
• They're sometimes hot and emotional, but mostly unresponsive and rarely have an answer to your problem.  If they do have an answer, it's mostly delegating responsibility onto somebody else.
• They respond to emails with one word or a single sentence; sometimes with a single question.  Why didn't they just pick up the phone to discuss the matter?
• As long as the sales team is producing, they never attempt to make anything better.
• They're not usually malicious, but are not passionate about people.
• They're not curious.
• They're more concerned about their position, image and status, then they are about other people.

Sound familiar?  Luckily, I actually have the pleasure of working with a Sales Manager that doesn't exhibit any of these characteristics.  Let's call him Tom (I'm not telling you his real name - forget it).  Tom is busting his ass, every day, to find out what's going on with his team.  He cares about the team.  Tom takes the time to sit down and learn about people that he works with.  He's curious.  He's passionate.  Tom is learning - he's evolving as both a Sales Manager and a human being.  Tom is not perfect - he's just Tom - and he cares.

I learned something today about Tom and I had to stop and think twice about it.  I over-heard Tom giving sales advice to one of his salespeople.  It was something about being consistent with customers and he was using an analogy about raising kids.  At first I thought, "What the hell is Tom talking about? Really?  Kid analogies?"  After a momentary pause, I started thinking about how much this guy cares about his salespeople.  I had a "mental-shift" from casual listening, to careful analysis.  I enlarged the thought process - pondered, reflected.  I started to think about how rare I actually got to hear people who cared enough to put forth the effort for an analogy.  My father used analogies often.  I don't think I realized how powerful and thoughtful the concept of somebody taking the time and thought process to compare a situation to something else so that he could communicate more effectively with me.  It doesn't matter whether it was a home-run or missed-the-target.  It matter that he's working it.  This is powerful stuff. 

I appreciate leaders who care and try to do their best each day.  Those few people who want to be a better person today, so they can grow intellectually and emotionally.  I think about how rare these people are.  Most of us in sales give-in to the concept that Sales Managers are administrators, obstacle-removers.  We succumb to cycle of "minimum requirements" and "middle management."  It doesn't have to be that way.  I have two take-away points:

1. If you're a Sales Manager, do you fit the bullet list above?  If so, you can change.  You can participate in the work equivalent of the cycle-of-life.  It's exciting.
2. If you're a Salesperson - motivate your Sales Manager to care more about what they do.  Everyone has the ability to make an impact, regardless of how small it may be.

Happy Selling.

A Holiday of Reason

Just fair warning here:  This posting has nothing to do with selling and may contain material that might seem offensive to some bloggers.  For those of you who follow this blog, you've seen several postings in the past regarding science and critical thinking.  Here's a timely editorial as we celebrate the end of 2011.

I was perusing CNN on my iPhone4S (shameless plug) on Christmas Day (12/25/2011) and noticed an article about Pope Benedict XVI Christmas Mass message.  While I'm not Roman Catholic, the Pope is the leader of one of the world's largest organized religions and I thought, "Why not hear what the 84-year old Pontiff has to say."

While his message started out innocently enough, he turned in short order to the ". . . commercial celebration of Christmas."  "Today Christmas has become a commercial celebration, whose bright lights hide the mystery of God's humility, which in turn calls us to humility and simplicity." If I believed in a super-natural God of the Catholics (which I don't - nor do I believe in Zeus, Mohamed, Brahma, Vishnu or any other God for that matter), I'd probably be concerned over the capitalization of the holiday season too.  OK, still willing to read more.

This is what sent me into a tailspin: 
"If we want to find the God who appeared as a child, then we must dismount from the high horse of our 'enlightened' reason," he said. "... In this spirit let us celebrate the liturgy of the holy night, let us strip away our fixation on what is material, on what can be measured and grasped."  Really?  Dismount from the high horse of reason?  Isn't "reasoning" the only thing that got us out of the Middle Ages?  Isn't "reasoning" the thing that provides electricity for the Pope's bedchambers?   Isn't "reasoning" the foundation for advances in medicine, relieving the suffering of millions of people, feeding the hungry?  He wants us to move AWAY from reason?

The Pope suggests that we "strip away our fixation on what can be measured and grasped?"  Just go ahead and stop soft-pedaling here.  "Measured and grasped" = Science.  It couldn't be more clear.  The Pope is clearly delivering the message that we should de-emphasize scientific process and thought.  What utter nonsense and what makes this out-right dangerous is the billions of Catholic followers that will hear this message loud and clear.  Make no mistake:  If the Pontiff found out tomorrow that science discovered some artifact that supported his religious beliefs, the Church would have this published on every newspaper throughout the world. Unfortunately, when it comes to other scientific proof that's "measured and grasped," (for example, that the earth is really 4.6 billion years old) the Church claims that science cannot be used to measure religious faith/belief.  This common separation of religion and science is known as Separation of Magisterium and is absurd.  Why can't we ask critical questions that only science can answer?  Why can't we ask for evidence of a young earth?  Why can't we propose a conflicting hypothesis to whether or not God exists?

The answer to these questions should be, "We can and should."  Unfortunately, those shrouded in belief and faith cannot answer any of these questions with anything other than, "religion/faith/belief is sacred."

As you go to sleep tonight, in your heated/air-conditioned home, and after a nice meal at your favorite restaurant, ask yourself what really impacts the way we live.  What would life be like if the Crusades or Holocaust never ended?  What would life be like without organized religion?  John Lennon asked the question:  "Imagine there's no heaven...and no religion too."  He was assassinated for it.  So were the thousands who died in 9/11.  Terrorists?  Of course, religious terrorists, all willing to go to a promised after-life for killing American infidels. 

This holiday season is a time for reason, for understanding, for science, and for raising our consciousness.

Review: Good to Great by Jim Collins

Jim Collins, the author of "Built to Last" and "How The Mighty Fall", is at his best in the 2001 best-seller, "Good to Great."  I recently bought the audio-book and "re-listened" over a few days during my work commute.  I can only say that each time I read/listen to the book, I learn more about the qualities of excellence and the methodology of how both companies and people create success.

Highly recommended, the book outlines some key principles that overlap most organizational and personal challenges.  Want to really understand leadership?  Collins blows away traditional myths by describing a Level-5 leader as:  humble, passionate, driven to success for his company (even at personal cost) and takes little credit for their own success.  Thinking about strategies for success?  Collins describes his great companies through an iterative process, not by some miracle cure.  Evolution, not revolution.  Collins also takes on bureaucracy as simply unnecessary, IF you have the right people on the bus, in the right seats.

As a sales manager, the book only reinforced the concept that a successful sales team is FIRST about hiring the right people.  People that are not motivated by the comp plan, but have success in their genetic make-up.  Collins describes successful people as "those people who will succeed regardless of any circumstances."  Collins cautions that if you find yourself having to micromanage people, first look to see if you have a people problem.

I put Good to Great amongst my top business books of all time.  Go buy it on iTunes.

iPhone 4S - What, You Didn't Order It Yet?

Like many of my readers who relish the Apple announcements, I was online watching instant messaging live during the October Press Conference.  With baited breath, I watched in amazement as Tim began summarizing all of the exciting news regarding Apple's continued world domination.  Like everyone else, I counted down the minutes (10, 20, 40 minutes into the media event).  Time to talk about iPhone.

What, no iPhone 5.  Wait a minute, it's been leaked for months.  I saw the screenshots from Sprint's databases and Radio Shack's employee training on iPhone 5.  I saw the phony web-site from Germany with photos and feature descriptions of the iPhone 5.  Where's the iPhone 5?  What's this iPhone 4S thing? I must admit, I also heard of leaks regarding the iPhone 4S, but paid them little mind as I was certain that Apple wouldn't do this.

I braced myself to hear about this iPhone 4S.  Slowly at fist, but steady as the information flowed, I began to understand.  The iPhone 4S really WAS the iPhone 5.  The camera, the wireless antenna, the A5 Chip, Siri...it was all there.  And what a phone this will turn out to be.  Over the next several days, I've watched the iPhone 4S videos and read the blogosphere.  This really is the most amazing Smartphone ever developed.  On October 7, the order was placed.

Are you a salesperson looking to increase productivity and efficiency?  Look no further.  Think the right technology can't significantly escalate success?  Think again.

Change Your Life: Start Trusting Somebody

Unhappy?  The economic crisis still looms drearily over the horizon.  Home prices continue to sink further into the pit of negative equity.  War continues to take lives in the Middle East.  Organizational stability is at an all-time low. 

What's a salesperson to do? 

Today, June 20, 2011 there is a trend simmering in our profession: 

Take what you can get
Everyone for themselves
Win at all costs. 

These expressions of desperation are contagious.  We bicker over account ownership.  We fight back to corporate management and policy.  We rage against the "other" departments in our company.  We go to great measures to show that we are right and will do almost anything to protect our own ass!  These symptoms only lead to spillage into our personal lives, our physical lives, our emotional well-being.

Tomorrow, June 21, 2011, let's try something different. 

As salespeople in front of customers, we have choices. 
Trust or Protect. 
Expose your position or Hide. 
Reach out for a relationship with a customer or get a transaction completed. 

Give people the benefit of the doubt and believe that, overall, they are motivated to do the right thing.  Do you keep your "cards close to the vest" during sales calls?  If so, what happens if you expose a card?  What if you actually TELL your customer that you're going to expose it?  What would happen?  What if the consequence of doing so creates a spark of trust between two people? 

Trust turns into relationships.  Selling is about relationships.

Take a risk by providing value first - even though your competitor might see it. 
Take a risk by exposing that you're human - even though your sales coach told you not to do so. 
Take a risk by proving that you really are who you want to be - even though it may put a sale in jeopardy.  Motivations are the key behind behavior. 

What's your end-game strategy:  purchase order or happiness? 
Want both - trust somebody tomorrow.

Building Trust - Taking a Bullet

I've often thought that building trust with another person (whether it's a customer, fellow salesperson or a manager) was primarily about doing the right thing, telling the truth, going the extra mile and sharing common experiences.  I learned a valuable lesson last week which revealed that sometimes, trust is built by taking a burden off of somebody.  In this case, it meant dealing with a troubling situation FOR that person.

In dealing with this individual, I had tried a number of methods to establish a trusting relationship, but it just wasn't working.  I knew this guy was going to be a difficult egg to crack.  We didn't have much in common, but we're working together, and I wasn't giving up.  I sought advice from both peers and management, which yielded the typical results.

Then, admittedly by accident, I took out a big problem for him that he would have had to spend dozens of hours unraveling.  While I felt somewhat put-out at the time, the result was nothing but spectacular.  This was of true value to the individual, and built rapport (and some trust).  It also opened up a new avenue to communication with us.  While I have much to do to continue building a working relationship with the guy, we're back on track.

I took a careful lesson from this experience (actually a couple of lessons).  First, just because I've been selling and managing people for 20 years, doesn't mean I have it figured it out.  I probably never will.  Experiences like this continue to support this thought and bring me back to reality.  Second, for some people, taking obstacles out of the way is a key factor in building trust.  While there are some folks that want to share difficult experiences, others just want them to go away.  When I can provide this, it makes all the difference.

There will always be more to learn.

The Blame Game

Is your sales career fraught with assigning blame?  Do you try to figure out who was responsible for the challenges getting in the way of your success?  Does your manager focus on assigning blame rather than fixing the problem and aligning you for achievement?  Do you?

Here's the deal:  There's two ways to deal with a problem:  1)  Figure out the problem, learn from the mistake, move on;  2)  Dwell on the problem, keep digging the hole that you've found yourself in, assign blame.  Which will it be for you?  One leads to greatness, the other leads to failure.

Let's say you've identified a problem.  I don't care what the problem is, because it doesn't really matter (does it?).  There are some salespeople, managers, executives that want to dwell on the problem.  They want to examine the problem from a dozen angles.  They want to assign blame.  Maybe they're having a bad day (maybe it's you that's having the bad day).  Certainly, people want to learn from their mistakes, but there's a big difference between understanding and learning from a problem, and having that problem become a milestone in your life.  Here's the best way in dealing with any problem (work or personal):

1. Discover the issue.  Examine the problem enough that you can define what happened, the people and process involved.  Ask the right questions, but realize that pouting or getting angry about an issue is an obstacle that is completely unnecessary.
2. Figure out how to not be here again.  It's important that the "take-away" represents a way in which you can try to create a situation which encourages success.  Some problems are going to repeat themselves a couple of times for you to learn the lesson.  THAT'S OK.  When you've got the way to not make the same mistake again...move on.
3. Put the processes and people in place to have a better situation happen for everyone.  Focus on the positive.  Applaud lessons learned.  

Today will be a better day than the rest.  Conflict resolution doesn't have to deal with blame, shooting arrows, or holding a grudge.  How about forgiveness, positivity and a great attitude.  You'll get through it, and so will your peers, bosses and family.

Take it easy....Life is too short (we only have about 600,000 hours to live).  Make the most.

No. 1 Rule of Negotiation: Stop Suggesting.

Sometimes, there's a lot on the line.  Maybe it's a huge commission check.  Maybe it's recognition and achievement.  Maybe it's keeping your job, your house, your livelihood.  Sometimes, we try so hard to manage a situation that we forget the most important law of negotiating a tough situation:  Let the other person talk first!

Professional negotiators, arbitrators and attorneys are trained in this all-important lesson.  Regardless of what you really want, always stop and ask the other party what they think and what they're willing to suggest FIRST.  This does two important things:

1. Sometimes, you'll get even more than you want.  Remember that the other party in any negotiation has their own agenda and objectives.  Many times, you won't know what these really are.  Sometimes, you simply cannot assume that you know how they'll respond to a particular situation.  This is extremely hard for salespeople to do, because we believe that we know how things will go down.  Trust me, you don't.  Experience shows that in any negotiation, parties are jockeying for position with separate agendas.  If you simply ask them what they want (or what it will take to settle the issue), you may get a response that is more favorable than you expected.
2. Even if the other party's response isn't what you want, at least now you know what they expect.  It's a bit like poker.  If you force a first response, you learn important information.  Like cards, people show "tells" which, if you observe carefully enough, will help you to better position your cause or situation.  Stop suggesting.  Stop telling.  Just ask and listen.  You'll learn critical information that can only be beneficial to you in the end.

Negotiating is just like any other situation in which you must compromise something.  Compromise is what selling is really about:  The buyer compromises by paying a fee for your product/services.  The seller compromises in that there will reach a point where buyers won't pay any more than they think something is worth.  Find out what that value is by careful observation and soliciting other people's opinion.

The best negotiators are those individuals who get what they need by knowing what the other party really wants.